Back to the Dice

SECRET SONG!

You have found a secret, hidden page on my website!

This song was written by Scott Waisner and me. The idea was a song about how hard it is to have a character in an RPG survive low levels. Each verse talks about a different character type and how he gets killed, with each chorus talking about getting up to a new level. Pretty clever lyrics, even though Scott wrote it... It's got some real brass and flutes, and Nad and I recorded it in a single night as a surprise for Scott.

Back to the Dice - Scott Waisner - Daniel Marshall - Chris Merritt

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Back to the Dice

by Chris Merritt and Scott Waisner

sang by Daniel Marshall

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Wave your swords in the air!

Sitting at home after a long hard week,

Watching Conan just ain't what I need,

And there's nothing good on HBO,

Besides there's crazy mages to slay,

Goblins attacking everyday,

And plenty of dungeons filled with gold,

We get together, roll the dice,

I'll be a fighter, that sounds nice,

('that sounds nice!')

I hope I can roll just one 18,

('yeah I want it on strength!')

We start the fight and roll init,

I wanna score just one more hit,

Against a 12 hit die unholy fiend,

That's one more character down the drain,

Another stat sheet down the tubes,

I guess it's back to the dice again,

To try to make it up to level two,

OK this time I'll be a monk,

But we've got no cleric so we're sunk,

'Cause mages can't do healing spells,

('I'm casting Magic Missile!')

I just saw the Beholder's eye,

Now I know I'm gonna die,

I even tried a spring attack, ('oh well!')

That's one more character down the drain,

Another class I'll never be,

I guess it's back to the dice again,

To try and make it up to level three,

Bards and wizards, paladins and rangers,

Rogues and barbarians in mortal danger,

The DM likes to think he's a god,

He's more like Marquis de Sade,

That's one more character down the drain,

Another guy who is no more,

I guess it's back to the dice again,

To try to make it up to level four,

That's one more character down the drain,

Another guy who's unalive,

I guess it's back to the dice again,

To try and make it up to level five,

Please let me make it up to level five,

Dear God just let me live to level five,

('Roll the dice to see if I'm getting drunk!")

Wave your swords in the air!