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This one features a song that a friend and I wrote about Dusty Schmidt, a VP at HGTV in charge of the promo producers.  Tough, stern, and quiet, but with a brutal honesty we respected, and a keen eye and ear for quality work.  We started saying that if your work was rejected or modified, you had been 'Dusted.'  We wrote this song for his 50 bday and roast.

Dusted - Chris Merritt
00:00 / 00:00


by Chris Merritt and Scott Waisner



"Chris is a dumass"

(Scott yells from the control room while I'm recording a vocal track.)


Don't finalize that promo, cause you gotta know,

It's gonna get Dusted,


Almost finished graphics, well it'll make you sick,

When you get Dusted,


Your theme package is done, gonna go have some fun,

And then you get Dusted (Dusted!)


Finished up at Neeson Pearl*, think it's done? Silly girl,

You've been Dusted,


Came rolling in to town, some fifty years ago,

Had his ragtop down, so his silver hair could blow,

Scrappy little fella, gonna make you cry,

Shoots down your ideas with a mumble and a sigh,

He's Dusty.


Got a whimsical edit?  Think that it's the shit?

Nope.  It's been Dusted (Dusted!)


Stayed up half the night to get the timing right?

It just got....  Dusted.


His Dorothy Hamill hair may be coming back in style,

He doesn't even care if it takes a little while,

Scrappy little fella gonna make you cry,

Shoots down your ideas with a mumble and a sigh,

He's a bad motherf (shut your mouth!)



(with demeaning and sarcastic comments from Dusty)


"Ah that's great. nice.  Put a guitar solo there, that's great.

Eh, it probably would have been better with tuba.  Tubas are funny, right?  Oh wait, didn't we already here this?  Heh, chicks'll probably dig that.   Couldn't you like, uh, make the guitar solo and more special than this?   That's interesting..."


It's time we toasted Dusty on his fiftieth birthday,

This song is getting rusty, so all I have to say,

Is I hope that you're around for another fifty years,

Rejecting our hard work, bringing us to tears,


Now let's get Dusted!


("Yeah that's real funny, Chris.  You can start looking for a new job tomorrow.")


*a production company we used to work with.

Dusted Lyric Video

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