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You have found a secret, hidden page on my website!


This one features a song that I wrote about Jon Clark.  Jon was a fellow staff composer at Scripps Networks.  And he is so dang fast at everything, and with such a powerful work ethic, that he makes everyone around him look bad.  Even after I left Scripps and went freelance there was no need for them to use me as a composer, because JON CLARK CAN DO EVERYTHING!!!!!!!  But surely the quality of his work must be lower?  NO!!!!!!  IT'S ALL AWESOME AND DONE WAY FASTER THAN ANYONE ELSE AND THERE IS NO NEED TO HIRE ANYONE ELSE EVER AGAIN!!!!!!1111222


By the way, Studio 60 was one of the best shows ever.  Like Firefly, it was cancelled way before its time.  Probably because of Jon Clark.  Jerk.

Jon Clark Cancelled Studio Sixty - Chris Merritt
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Jon Clark Cancelled Studio Sixty

by Chris Merritt



Woke up today, at the crack of noon,

I had some Tang and a Cinnabon,

I'd write some songs, but no one's buyin'

It's all because of that Clark, Jon,


Jon Clark stole my roller skates,

Jon Clark broke my washing machine,

Jon Clark drank all my Kool Aid,

Jon Clark is just so dang mean,


You may not know it, you may not care,

He's got you fooled by his Mormon charm,

(pronounced "Mormin" apparently)

You think he's great, you like his music,

But you don’t know all he does is harm,


Jon Clark tested positive for steroids,

Jon Clark wants to cut out your spleen,

Jon Clark cancelled Studio Sixty,

Jon Clark is just so dang mean,


Why does he have to torment me,

Why can't he just let me be,

He's so mean, oh can't you see,

When will I ever be free of,


Jon Clark feeds Pop Rocks to babies,

Jon Clark invented Chia Pets,

Jon Clark is destroying the ozone,

Jon Clark probably cheers for the Mets,

(I know nothing of sports, just needed a rhyme!)


Jon Clark mastermined 911,

Jon Clark just stepped on your cat,

Jon Clark he’s a telemarketer,

He calls at dinner and did you know that,


Jon Clark cancelled Studio Sixty,

Jon Clark cancelled Studio Sixty,

Jon Clark cancelled Studio Sixty,

Jon Clark cancelled Studio Sixty.


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